Hello… My name is "Sunny", not my real name just a nick name. I am 46 years old and I have known I have had hepatitis C for about five years. I have no health insurance and it is "hell".

Where to start this story without running amuck. I guess I will start with how I found out. I had a really good friend who found out when he got so sick he ended up in the hospital. That was the first time it hit my heart. He was put on treatments that made him so sick.

Then my partner was tested for it and he was positive. Man I was so scared… but after a few months I got tested. A friend of mine was working in a lab so it was all hush if you know what I mean. I was holding my breath and praying it would be negative. But it was not, I felt so unclean and unfit to have the job that I had. I was working in a medical clinic.

It took me a couple more weeks before I could even tell my boss about it. But she was really understanding and caring. I made an appointment with a doctor and had some more test done. But all they told me was that my viral load was to low (<200) to even consider treatment of any kind and I really didn't have to worry about it. Just get retested every year…. "right" like that put my mind at ease. I did some research on my own and stayed close to my partner and my friend learning as much as I could.

I watched my diet and took vitamins and minerals. And I still do. Well, me and my partner split up and I moved away. But no matter where you go it is always in the back of your mind. I moved to Montana, got married and wouldn't you know it, he is positive too. The married lasted only 2 years, different ideas of life I guess. But we lived on a reservation and you would not believe the cases of hepatitis C there that go untreated. And the ignorance of the disease is unbelievable. I didn't dare ever say anything to anyone! We latter moved to Washington where I was tested again. The viral load had not changed much, and again the doctors said I was not a candidate for treatment. I feel as if I will have to live with this disease for the rest of my life.

The doctor that I seen just said this… just take good care of your self,eat right, drink plenty of water and avoid stress. Can you believe that? I told him that I have headaches everyday and feel sick like I have a light case of the flu and I can't sleep at night and my memory isn't always so great. He says…it will pass. Man, I can't believe what I am hearing. So to this vary day, I try to avoid stress… I take source of life vitamins and minerals,and I use ginkgo biloba and I also take SAM-e. And I try to sleep at night.

I still have no health insurance and have never received treatment of any kind. But I wish I could I would love to beat this hepatitis C and not always have it on my mind. I would love to know that I will be around to see my grandchildren if and when I have any. I live with my two adult children who do everything they can to help me. Don't get me wrong I am not I my death bed by no means. But it definitely makes you love every minute of your life and everyone in it.

Sunny

Sing like nobody is listening
dance like nobody is watching
live like there is no tomorrow
and…
love like you have never been hurt